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Just Like Hemingway to see to what lengths “we” take our inane and insane crap … it’s certainly Zero Tolerance. In November, sophomore Amanda Stiles was expelled from Parkway High School after Advil was found in her purse. How the hell will we ever survive I just don’t know. Though Alma Cogan is dead not all of the class of dead people are Alma Cogan. Fish live underwater. A Bass is a fish … thus certainly if I get kippers it will not rain. Oh to simply sink back, exhausted, onto the cartons of yoghurt. Perhaps when in that sort of mood, however, the LoveLump would be more effectatious? Holy Bejeebus.

Guardian Unlimited Film | Features | We are all nerds now: “According to the Collins English Dictionary, a nerd is something you emphatically don’t want to be. It defines the term as referring to ‘1) a boring or unpopular person’ or ‘2) a stupid and feeble person’, both of which sound a little harsh. Most likely the definition is a hangover from the old days, when the nerd was relegated to the library and only emerged to have sand kicked in his face or get a wedgie. Times have changed.”

New Iraq army hit by resignations: “‘They used to be paid two dollars a month and now the recruits are being paid $60 a month, but they feel they ought to be paid more than that,’ he told the BBc World Service’s Newshour programme.”